Lessons From a Mockingbird — Writing My World

At first, I did not notice the mockingbird’s territorial claim over our bird feeders. I was simply puzzled. Why was this lone grayish bird with its flashy tail the only feathered visitor at our feeders? John was the first to identify it as a mockingbird, but neither one of us knew anything about the mockingbird’s propensity for boldness “in defense of its nests.”

It took only a few days to notice this behavior. The mockingbird would sit in the top of the tree after gorging itself with seeds. It was as if it was daring others to even try to take a nibble from the scattered seeds below. Several times I saw it swoop in like a kamikaze bomber from across the street to threaten a little field sparrow who dared to perch near our feeders. I am not sure what aggravates me more…the bossy behavior, or the loss of our tiny feathered visitors. This dull gray mockingbird and one acrobatic squirrel are now the only visitors to our feeders.

I consulted the online bird experts at Cornell and learned that late winter is the time mockingbirds begin to nest which fosters this feisty behavior. Reading this softened my callous heart a bit, but I still longed to teach this bossy being to share with others. Like the loaves and fishes, I wanted this bully to realize there is more than enough to go around. I began to feel like my mother who often wailed when I squabbled with my sisters, “Why can’t you girls just get along?!”

Perhaps it is my lack of control and no easy answer that puts me in such a foul mood. I suppose I could just take the feeders down, but that feels like admitting defeat and would never change the mockingbird’s behavior. Thus, I find myself at a frustrated crossroads caught between giving in or giving up. Yet, even as I write this I wonder why this situation peeves me so? I know clearly what I want to happen…I want the tiny lemon drop finches, the rust colored field sparrows, and the dear black-capped chickadees to return to our feeders again. I miss the unexpected delight they brought when I opened the shades each morning. Yet, these small friends will never return if I remove the feeders just to thwart this unwelcome mockingbird.

I wonder now what this little avian drama is really about. Maybe it isn’t about gaining control or giving into acquiescence but is a call to accept what is? Perhaps the mockingbird has come to remind me that maybe I am the one who needs to “get along” as my mother often pleaded. Get along with the mockingbird and really anything that might come along to upset the status quo of my daily life. Getting along does not always mean giving in but as my sisters taught me it often means compromise…a compromise that is best sweetened with forgiveness and understanding. It is forgiveness that often unsticks me from my anger and need to be “right.”

Perhaps if I choose to reside in acceptance, the feisty mockingbird and I might reach a truce of sorts. We will never be fast friends but maybe agreeable neighbors for a bit. Hopefully should the babies arrive and leave the nest, the mockingbird will take her lessons elsewhere and my favorite visitors will return to delight us once again. At least I hope that will be how it goes, but who knows? I am not writing my story but neither is the mockingbird anymore.